Please support my cousin Chaznee Brown's blood drive to increase the registry of blood for Sickle Cell patients. We have probably all lost loved ones to this deadly disease so please do not blood and give these patients life. Please click the picture below. Thanks!
Calling all professional women (and the men who support them)! Are you ready to set your vision in motion in 2011?
It's a new year! Where are you in achieving your vision? Have you started yet? Are you stuck somewhere on your journey? Do you need a little motivation and encouragement to continue?
The Vision 2011 Seminar is the first in a series of Leadership Development Seminars for professional women in 2011. Join us for this kick off event as we explore our visions and dreams, set goals to achieve them, have fun and meet new people in the process!
Click on the link below today to take advantage of the early bird special.
Saturday, January 15, Martin Luther King Jr. Weekend Clean Up in Beat 33: Meet at Allen Temple Church, 8501 International, at 8:30 am, and/or meet at the East Oakland Boxing Association, 816 98th Ave, at 1 pm.
Monday, January 17, 8:30-1 pm, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Clean-Up: Meet at Madison Middle School, 457 Capistrano Drive.
Re-establish a Neighborhood Crime Prevention Council for Beat 33 and meet your new Beat Officer, Eastmont Sub Station, 2651 73rd Avenue, Wednesday, January 26th, 6-8 pm.
Saturday, January 15 East Oakland Clean up 8:30-Noon Meet at Allen Temple Baptist Church, 8501 International Blvd. 1-4 pm Meet at East Oakland Boxing Association, 816 98th Avenue
Sunday, January 16, Family Explorations! The Art of Storytelling from Martin Luther King, Jr. to President Obama, 1-4 pm Oakland Museum of California, 1000 Oak St. Admission Fee for adults, Children 8 and under free. Storytellers and musicians celebrate Black History Month in this family program. www.museumca.org or 238-2200.
In the Name of Love: 9th Annual Musical Tribute honoring Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., 7 pm Oakland Scottish Rite Center, 1547 Lakeside Dr. Oakland's only non-denominational musical tribute to Dr. King features several of Oakland's most outstanding and internationally known vocal treasures including American soul and R&B singer/songwriter Goapele, powerful vocalist and historian Linda Tillery premiering a new vocal duet with Gospel great Terrance Kelly, the Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir, the Oakland Children's Community Choir with the Oaktown Jazz Workshops. Mayor Jean Quan will present the 6th Annual Oakland Citizen Humanitarian Award to Achebe Hoskins for his outstanding work on behalf of the Oakland community. Presented by Rhythmic Concepts, Inc. Admission Fee. www.mlktribute.com or 800-838-3006 /287-8880.
Monday, January 17 MLK Day of Service 8:30 am-1 pm MLK Day of Service in Sobrante Park Meet at Madison Middle School at 400 Capistrano Drive. Bring gloves and clothes that can get dirty. Contact Bill Richie at 472-8911.
9 am-1pm MLK Day of Service at Lake Merritt. Meet at the Lakeside Garden Center and join volunteers from Volunteers for Service and Volunteers for America in a major clean up of our beloved Lake Merritt. Bring gloves and water.
Martin Luther King Jr. Regional Shoreline, Doolittle Dr. & Swan Way 8:30 am to Noon, Free Admission This East Bay Regional Park District's event continues Dr. King's vision to improve lives, bridge social barriers and move our nation closer together to the beloved community. Volunteers will assist staff in restoration work and invasive plant removal in order to support and care for wildlife and their natural habitats. Wear comfortable, weather-appropriate clothes and closed-toed shoes. Please also bring your own water bottle. Heavy rain cancels. Registration is required either online or via phone. www.ebparks.org or 888-327-2757 then option 2 followed by option 3.
13th Annual Make the Dream Real 2011 featuring Marianne Williamson Taylor Memorial Methodist Church, 1188 12th St. 10 am to Noon, Free Admission The keynote address will be by Marianne Williamson, world renowned lecturer, peace activist, cultural change agent and New York Times multiple best-selling author. Mistress of Ceremony will be Aimee Allison of KPFA's "The Morning Show." Performers include Ishmael Combs & the Taylor Memorial Children's Unity Choir, Destiny Knuckles, China Spirit Ensemble directed by Winnie Wong, the Oakland Interfaith Youth Gospel Choir directed by Terrance Kelly, Kenya Hall, Kimberly Turner & Tyrese Johnson, ArtEsteem youth Leaders and others. Three Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Awards will be given to deserving community members who are doing exemplary service work. Presented by the Attitudinal Healing Connection, Inc. & Taylor Memorial Methodist Church. www.ahc-oakland.org / www.taylorchurch.org or 652-5530 /444-6162
The Dream Lives On: Multicultural Peace Celebration & Rally ILWU Warehouse Hall #6, 99 Hegenberger Rd. 10 am-2 pm, Free Admission Oakland Police Chief Anthony Batts will speak, along with youth speakers, an address by Mayor Jean Quan, remarks by YMCA of the East Bay President Rev. Robert Wilkens and entertainment. 798-5535.
Annual Classic Film Festival African American Museum & Library at Oakland, 659 14th St. 11 am-4 pm, Free Admission. By popluar demand, AAMLO presents its Annual Classic Film Festival that takes folks back in time. www.oaklandlibrary.org or 637-0200.
Historic mural at the AAMLO>>
Wednesday, January 19, BART Celebrates Dr. King's Legacy Through Music and the Arts 2nd Floor Auditorium, Kaiser Center, 300 Lakeside Dr. Noon to 1:15 pm, Free Admission This celebration of Dr. King's legacy will feature performances by the Oakland School for the Arts Instrumental Music Department. 464-7139
Note: This was originally written for a column in a magazine but never got published...
Back in my single days, I was always baffled by hearing other men talk about “game,” how much they had, and how they used it to advance their objectives (exploits) in a relational context. From these conversations and discussions, I uncovered their definition of “game.” To them, “game” was their uncanny ability to attract women based on superficial characteristics, such as the appearance of how much money they had, how handsome they were, how good they appeared to be in bed, and how into their “prey” they seemed to be. Often times, this meant that they would lie, rob, steal, and cheat to get whatever they wanted whenever they could. This concept of “game” allowed these men to think that they were God’s gift to women and if successful, they could convince their women that they were special, that it was OK to let down their guards, that they were the “only ones,” to lend them money haphazardly, and to sacrifice their bodies in the name of “love.”
Ironically, these were the same men whose conversations transitioned to how some women snapped on them and pulled a “Thin Line Between Love and Hate” or a “Waiting to Exhale” on them. As their perplexity diminished, I continued to ask, “Why do you have to lie to kick it?" That’s not “game.” “Game” is being a man of integrity and telling the truth. So many men looked at me as if I was speaking a foreign language where they just could not comprehend. “Game” is a reflection of maturity as well as security. If I man has it “going on,” that should speak for itself. He should not have to brag or highlight whether or not he has money, drives a nice car, lives in a big house, etc. to get a woman's attention.A women will come to know those things in due time.
If a man looks good, he should know it already. He does not have to look in the mirror all day (unless he’s a Kappa), take pictures of himself half naked and send them to you via text or on Facebook. And he does not have to constantly ask you how he looks, he should know it. Anyone who needs to be so absorbed in themselves to this magnitude, is insecure and women need to guard themselves emotionally.
Granted, there is no “Golden Rule” as to how fast two people can fall in love, but just meeting some one, talking to them on the phone several times, and going out on a date or two in a week’s time does not constitute “loving” someone. “Lusting” someone perhaps but not “loving” someone. Talking about what he’s going to do to you sexually before you have sex is a “no no” as well and you should be cautious to not have big expectations (no pun intended). Once again, if you have to talk about it, it’s not all that. “Demonstrate don’t placate.”
Finally, if you just met a man last week, chances are he’s not a hermit. He was probably dating someone else before you met. It’s OK to admit that you are seeing other people when you are single. But if a man says, “you are the only one in my life” you should run because that’s just not realistic.
In summary, I have a vested interest in helping couples stay together and avoid being part of the ever-growing 50+% of divorced couples in America. How couples begin their relationships usually determines the same vices of how they will end. I strongly believe that women play a vital role in raising the bar for successful relationships/marriages. Please take heed and know that the truth is powerful and it does set you free. So many people get caught trying to keep up facades, trying to recall what lies were told to whom in order to continue the false perceptions and make believe personas. It’s easier to be honest, broke, and real in the Bay than living a fake lifestyle in LA for a whole host of other reasons, which I will not address today. Define yourself by having integrity and security in being who you are today in your life, yet hold on to your aspirations of who you want to be. When you have achieved, then you can “be” but until then, just be “me.” Now that’s “game!”
Kevin L. Nichols is an author, President and CEO of KLN Publishing. LLC located in San Francisco, California.For more information, please visit www.klnpublishing.com.
Copyright 2011 KLN Publishing, LLC All Rights Reserved